Life without the loading bar.

Posted: August 3, 2011 in Thoughtful thinking.

I thought I had it. I probably still think I have it. Faith is something that seems to have eluded my grasp for the majority of my life. I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand what it is until one is forced to practice it. Like being told how to ride a bike, one never can master it until they experience the feeling, know how to balance, and keep their alignment. I have, for the most part, been given everything that I could have ever needed during my existence. Exceeding that of need, I have more than I could ask for and more than I deserve. Faith has never had the chance to be put to the test in my life. I have read the definition, know what it means, know that I need to have at least a basic amount to accept the Truth. But the faith that hurts, the faith that takes courage, and the trust that overcomes our very real danger is something that I have begun to experience for the first time. I’m a newbie in the world of gritty, hard faith.

I believe my perception of faith was wrong. I used to think that people with an extraordinary amount of faith had it easy because of their trust. I thought that individuals who overcame great obstacles using trust did it with a smirky grin on their face because they knew how it was going to turn out in the end. Their faith obviously was so incredibly strong that it gave them an almost super-human like confidence as they walked through trials with their heads held high as the world crashed and burned around them. No matter what, everything would be peachy in the end, the good guys win and the bad guys lose. This was the victory promised those who were strong in the art of faith. Have faith and win.

Faith was always a non-issue for me because I never knew I never used it. If someone was to ask me if I had it, I would indignantly answer back, “Of course I do!” Of course I did! I’m a Christian aren’t I? Comes with the name doesn’t it? Standard issue Christian faith. Comes with the Redeemed Package. *Limited Edition only.* But when the rubber meets the road, when the going gets tough, what happens? You have to make a decision on where you’re going to put that next step of yours. And with no lead on where to go, what do you do?

Ever download something on your computer? You know how it has the little loading bar that tells you your progress? Well, one of the most frustrating things to me when it comes to this kind of stuff is the lack of that little loading bar! Why is it so important? Because it tells you how close you are to the finish! It’s cheating! I will stay and watch that loading bar for fifteen minutes at my computer if it is there but get up and walk away in frustration if something doesn’t have a loading bar and takes more than two! It’s the unknown! You don’t know how long it’s going to take, so instead of risking waiting for it, you give it up altogether! “Ah, it’s frozen!” I’ll say. “This is taking forever!” No, it’s not. It’s almost done, now if you’ll just wait a couple more sec-*click*

I can just see God telling us this same thing. “No! No! Wait! Wait! I’m almost finished with you!” But then we think about the time it could take and how long God will keep us waiting and how we don’t know when it will end. All this is going through our minds as we wait on Him to complete His work in us and unfortunately, we want to unplug ourselves from His download because we see other programs we desire to save instead and His work in us might overwrite our own data. Heh, this sounds like a scene from Tron. (That movie wasn’t that great by the way, at least, the new one wasn’t. Not sure about the old one. Never saw it.) What we don’t know is that God is almost done, He’s right there on the finishing touches when we walk away. He’s always working on us, but we can be a great hindrance to ourselves if we don’t stick it out. Wait for those specific lessons and promises from God.

Faith is living without the loading bar. Faith is the gritty, tiring walk of everyday life. Faith is the act of I-have-no-idea-what-I’m-doing-but-I’m-doing-it-anyways-because-I-trust-You. At least, it’s a facet of faith. I’m sure- no, I know that there is SO much more for me to learn. And I would be lying if I said that I’m looking forward to all my future faith building. I’m not. Heh, but learn I shall!

Until next time!

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